24th
just thoughts
I’ve been thinking that I currently have an unhealthy relafriendship with a certain someone. We spend virtually every waking moment together and we’re going to be living together for the first portion of summer and again throughout the coming school year. When we’re not together, I’m thinking about how I should share things with this person and I want to constantly update them or contact them. It isn’t healthy.
This had only occurred to me on one other occasion, but it was in the early stages of our relationship. I remember feeling smothered because this person got really comfy very quickly. And that was too much for me. I’m afraid that I might become the same way to this person. I don’t want to be insufferable and smothering. I just want to take a break from each other and enjoy myself.
Not really enjoy myself, but spend some time apart to grow and do some self-reflection. As is, I’m not a very contemplative or complex person with lofty concerns. And I’d like to be. I’d like to get more out of life than I’m currently getting. I need more than just school. I need to figure out what it is that I want out of life and what I want to do. I… I’m not mature enough nor do I have enough life experience.
That’s all. just talkin.
